What if I fart in class?

Right, let's just answer this properly, because you're definitely not the first person to wonder.

Pilates involves a lot of core squeezing, abdominal pressure, leg lifting and gentle twisting. You are basically giving your digestive system a bit of a massage. Occasionally, something escapes. It happens in every Pilates studio on Earth. It has happened in ours. It will happen again. Probably next Tuesday.

Here's what actually happens if it does: nothing. Absolutely nothing. Your instructor, who has heard every sound a human body can produce, will continue the sentence they were in the middle of. The person next to you, who farted quietly during a bridge in 2023 and has never told anyone, will not look up. With 12 people in the room, nobody can prove anything anyway, and honestly, nobody wants to.

If it helps your strategy, a few practical notes: try not to eat a big meal in the hour before class, and know that the leg lift series is statistically the riskiest time. Beyond that, we suggest the time-honoured approach of keeping a straight face and carrying on.

The day someone has to stop a class because of a trump, you'll hear about it, because we will find it funny. Until then, consider the question answered and stop letting it keep you off the mat.